''...a dim but irritating need for something nameless and unknown that I had felt from time to time since I was a child.''
I will not die with that feeling, that longing, that empty space.
I will not carry that feeling to my grave.
I will not.
Say what you feel and feel what you say.
LIVE.
Everyday.
Write, sing, laugh, cry, dance, paint, play.
Words have power and they have meaning. Stop hiding behind your mask, your mirror.
Feel what you say and say what you feel.
*
And that's why Mary prayed,
because she just knew.
Women just know.
We women, we just know.
And with my hands in the mirror
I flew back through time
and I healed her,
I healed her as she healed me.
She held my hand
'Just prey,' she said
'Learn to stand in your fear,
and just pray.
We women, we know the way.'
(There has to be more than this)
and so..''we all danced.''
We danced the way,
for that was the only way we knew how.
We danced, we danced, and we danced.
But she don't dance, like you dance.
She dances the only way she knows how.
From the roots of her bones and of her sister's bones.
She danced and she danced and she danced.
For the sake of their souls,
she danced.
She dances. She dances.
and that flame still burns.
'Take me back home,
guide us to home.
Back to our roots, back to our land.'
She danced and she danced
All is guided back to where it once was birthed; to where it belongs, all in good time.
All in good due time.
'I do care, so much, even when I show it not.
I care and I am careful.
I tread carefully.
For what we have here is dust; ashes.
Rust and bone.
Guide us home.'
Guide us home.
Guide us home.
*
And so she ate all that stepped unto her path, and all that foraged her to believe;
that all she saw, all she gave, all she loved
was a complete mystery.
For she was woman.
Had she nothing to understand at all?
It was once said that women were to be loved and not to be understood.
I am not sure of that.
This craving, this urging, this urgency,
this calling, this urgent call within me, within my blood,
lives inside of me, for always.
Always screaming, always hiding,
always crying, always bleeding.
And that is why I never give up,
for I still bleed.
And my blood -
my potent red, sticky blood,
is my power, my potential; my true calling.
And I will never give up.
I will never give up.
I am my own blood.
And I never give up.
*
But the circles under her eyes were much brighter in the dark,
and they shone more brightly when it rained.
'Hath she no name?' They say
Born to a dying breed, she is here to connect the chain, to re-establish the order,
to heal lifetimes of pain, of doubt and of suffering.
'Tell me,
tell me why it is that I am here,' she said.
She calls to her ancestors and she calls to the bones..
'Guide us back home,
and I will heed in your assistance.
A true witch; I shall not fear you, nor shall I mislead you.
My duty is all I have.
I am waiting. I am waiting for you.
Where you be?'
*
'You have a way with life,' He said.
'And you have a way with me,' said She.
'But I am undying, can you not see?
I never forget, anything.
The traces in my heart
now unrecognisable, unforgeable.'
Ply. Ply,
and rid.
Rid me out.
I am stagnant, stuck, and full
of sticky, sticky blood.
Unchallenged,
and too ''good.''
Sometimes all I want is pain, just to make me feel.
I sometimes lose my way,
and to you, I am supposed to kneel.
Listen to the rain.
Can you hear me?
I am in every drop of life that you taste;
in every cell.
But I am in hell.
Help me.
Look unto your womb.
Their-in lies the crystal, the omnipresent sheath..
The strength.
*
My shoulders ache, from hanging on
for far, far too long.
Would He laugh if He read these words?
Why should that bother me?
This is my eternal plea,
from She to He.
Keep writing. Keep reading.
And listen to 'dem bones, listen to your heart.
I may still be a little afraid of the dark,
but it is that fear that guides me, that carries me -
and as strange as it may sound,
I like it. I like the dark.
And I blow, with 'dem winds that blow.
And that light, she chases my tail,
and it burns, and it burns.
And he says..'daughter, you know the way.
'My daughter, she knows the way.'
Dear Father, Heavenly Father,
I burn. I burn.
